There is a witch hunt afoot in the range of Pacific salmon – at least in the western North American range south of Alaska. For some folks (fishy folk anyways) this witch hunt should be topping “America’s Most Wanted” or other equivalent TV shows.

This is the witch hunt for salmon killers.

The headlines stream:

• “where did all the salmon go?”
• “who, or what, killed all the wild salmon?”

I think the FBI has several suspects on their list. These include: logging, overfishing, mining, pollution, urbanization – and the most recent suspect topping the list…. dirty slimy climate change.

That darn Al Gore has spawned nothing short of copy-catters and terror around the world. Climate change… that great culprit. When in doubt – climate change did it.

Where did my keys go?

climate change!

Where did I leave that darn shopping list?

climate change took it!

Sock lost in the laundry?…. ok, you get the picture.

In Canada, our poor Fisheries Minister Shea was pied in the face the other day at a news conference. And not even with good pie – it was a tofu pie. (Now that should be a crime). I suppose maybe she should consider herself fortunate she didn’t get hit with an old spawned out humpy (pink salmon) when she was here on the BC coast – when she forgot to set meetings with fisherfolks.

At least, we know this wasn’t climate change. It was just bad planning.

Of course this pie throwing act has set off one of the most ridiculous tirades of rhetoric I’ve heard in quite awhile. One Conservative MP from Newfoundland has suggested the perpetrators (PETA demonstrating the Canadian seal hunt) should be charged and tried as “terrorists”.

Come on. Bombs up your pant legs on a plane – ok, maybe “terrorist”.  Tofu pie throwers…. let’s get a grip. (even if the minister is allergic to soy products…)

Now, in regards to the great perpetrator climate change – our freshly pied Fisheries Minister in a recent letter states:

The coastwide scope of the decline that has occurred across all Pacific salmon species suggests that this decline is associated with much larger ecological events than localized salmon farming.  These events include climate change and changes in ocean productivity along our West Coast.

In addition to recognizing the impact of global changes, DFO also understands potential impacts of local conditions.

There it is that dirty climate change – killing all those innocent salmon.

And, well…. Ms. Fisheries Minister I’m glad you have also adopted the stance of “potential” impacts of local conditions. One of those “potential” local impacts, I might suggest, could be the local office of the ministry you manage…. (but that would be mean of me).

Jesting aside – I think I have found the culprit of the great wild Pacific salmon demise.

Go look in a mirror. It’s you and me.